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30 aprile 原来。。。4.23.
好不想过生日啊
因为。。。
又要老一岁了
只是，
时间
没有因为
我的不情愿而停止
明天会有tutorial
easter后的第一个tutorial,
好想对我的功课说f off
bday= whole day work + only 4 hrs sleep
我觉得好充实
充实的。。。 有点悲哀
凌晨3点
模模糊糊中
我觉得我好想尖叫
大声尖叫
真的好不想长大
120天中
做着其中一个最不想做得自己得自己
终于明白原来
原来我真得很不坚强...
4.28.
dear,
我看了nana,
是的，
我和奈奈
好像，
in lots of aspects-- u said(4.29 .)
晚上我有点睡不了
想着她会有什么样的ending
也许
是在等待
等待有人告诉我
我的ending吧。。。
凌晨6点，
电话响起
chris的号码
才刚睡着的我
低骂一声
wtf--we only txt...
醉了
手机被捡了
我模糊中却还知道
告诉someone找contact里面的someone
原来
原来我
半醒比清醒反应更快。。。
4.29.
对不起
对不起
对不起
对不起故意让你看我哭
因为
太stressed 了
不释放
我会找刀子...--only joking
第一次
你骂我了
speechless
明白
你说的都是
TRUTH
im sorri
sorri to b sad
sorri to b mad
sorri to make u shout
would smile from today
4.30.
the end of april
i told myself it is the end of my pain
i love u
in an sepcial way
...
原来
原来
没有长大，
没有变坚强
没有适应现实
会长大
需要长大
终于
明白了
21 aprile the purpose driven life by rick warreni cant believe i move from <<girl with a one-mind-track>> to <<the purpose driven life>> but it is happening. im looking for my life purpose, my hope and my true faith...
'' if you have felt hopeless, hold on! wonderful changes are going to happen in your life as you begin to live it on purpose. god says, 'i know wht i am planning for you...'i hv good plans for you, not plans hurt you, i will give you hope and a good future'''
''when u live in light of eternity, your values change.''
''the most damaging aspect of contemporary living is short-term thinking. to make the most of your life, you must keep the vision of eternity continually in your mind and the value of it in your heart. there is far more than jst here and now!!''
''we dont see things as they are, we see them as we are.'' by Anais Nin
they way you see your life shapes your life.
16 aprile from the book again"... i have a little rule that i like to stick to, and that is i do not fxxx my friends"
"... real life is NOT LIKE MOVIE, where two best frds end up making out. real life is emberrassment and nervousness and insecurity, and waking up the next morning and realising your frdship may never be the same again. real life is losing your best frd of 20 yrs because you got drunk together and fooled around. real life is where you are nervous being alone together even though you hv spent your childhood sharing a bed with this person. real life is where you are not sure whether your frd is looking at you bcos they want to rip ypur clothes off or bcos they thk that shirt doesnt suit you. real life is aboutt making sure boundaries dont get crossed and sex and frdship are kept separate."
-- Abby Lee, Girl with a one-mind-track
tbh, i thought abt this b4 already, wht she mentioned is basically wht i thkn is why i never ever dare to go out with gd frds(not even mention spend a nit together), i dont wanna kill my frdship too early. this is my rule 14 aprile girl with a one track mind"the idea that men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love must be a myth. in my experience men want and need love and companionship JUST AS MUCH as their female counterparts and women seek sexual pleasure and gratification JUST AS MUCH as men do."
" the difference is that it is still largely unacceptable for men to admit to that emotional need in case they are labelled 'weak' or 'feminine', and if a woman is open about her sexual desires she is instantly a 'slut'. so we don't question the gender stereotype and it is no surprise that this is internal emotional frustration can be a source of conflict between the sexes."
-- <<girl with a one-track-mind>>, by Abby Lee
for a long while there is no book can make me feel reali attracted, but this one is exception. i can not describe how much i enjoy reading it n how much i find it being honest to women`s desires.... 01 aprile ...2.30am in the morning, i went back from clubbing with bicky. this is the first time i actually drink out with bicky, and dance with her, haha.we went in a group, bicky, carmen, sabrina, megumi n me, this is what we call gals nit.
3.10am,bicky went to bed and i still stayed awake as i always hv sleeping problem after drinking. seriously, i become even more clear-headed than any other moment, though my body is extremely tired after the field trip and the games. i trap myself in my memory, things hv happened this yr keep on flying around my mind.
3.15am i talked with ming, my dearest dearest frd, on msn, im scared to face her in this stage, as she, my best frd is a mirrior reflect back how unbalanced and twisted i am at the moment. but then i also glad the fact that i know it... would go even further if i were blind and had no idea my soul is sinking...
i know im escaping, but then i do not know wht iam running away from, therefore, i can not help myself. i keep on waiting waiting n waiting for my rescue ring, which is not exist.should hv know this from the v v beginning, my dearest dearest....
sorry, too lazy to carry on with the writing ><
ask me abt it la. |
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